St. Louis Drift: Driving 101 for the 314

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Rain or shine, it never fails that St. Louis drivers almost run you off the road. To be honest, I’m getting a little tired of it. So listen up St. Louis, grab a snack and hop in because we’re going back to the basics.

First off, speed racer, speeding to cut me off even though there are eight other cars in front of me does nothing to benefit you. Do yourself a favor, slow your roll and enjoy the billboards.

Photo courtesy of Nya Dorsey.

Oh and riding my tail doesn’t make the situation any better, nor is it going to make me go any faster. If anything, It’s going to make me slow down even more. You better be late to your surprise birthday party if you’re bumper to bumper with me, that’s the only logical reason.

Looks like you should’ve left earlier. There’s no need for you to be so close to me because if we’re both being honest, the moment I brake check you, it’s over pal. We’ll have a chat about our insurance later.

Those thing called signals? Yeah, the manufacturers don’t put them there for decoration. Let’s put them to use people! I shouldn’t have to guess whether your destination is to the left or right side. Do I look like Google Maps to you? No? That’s what I thought! Use your signals please and thank you.

Okay, 4-way stops…I don’t know if you forgot how it works, but if I get there first, I go first. You can’t get there last then decide to speed through. Beyoncé would be disappointed, because you’re definitely not in formation.

Can we address merging? We have to, it’s a must. We’ve all been there. We see that exit coming up or that lane merging and we know we have to get over. We put that blinker on to notify the world that “Yes, I indeed have to get over.” However, instead of letting you over, they decided to outrace you instead. That’s not cool, and you know it. Driving is all about teamwork! At the end of the day we’re all trying to get somewhere. If you see me trying to get over, be a friend and save some room for me.

Don’t even get me started when it rains. It’s as if you all lose your mind when a raindrop falls from the sky. How is it that you still seem to push 90 mph when it’s pouring? There’s barely any traction. You’re going to hydroplane off your high horse. Don’t get me wrong, driving like a tortoise isn’t any better.

Think about this: Instead of driving recklessly, you could take the time to drive safely and be courteous of the many lives around you. I know it sounds crazy, maybe even a bit challenging, but it’s well worth it.

Remember “click it or ticket” and cheers to arriving alive. Did we forget to rant about a specific part of your daily commute? Tweet us your driving pet peeves at @MvillePawprint!

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