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Crazy College Stories…As Told By Maryville Professors

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While we can all remember our crazy college stories and embarrassing moments in the apartments or at the bar, we sometimes forget that our professors have had these moments, too. We asked some faculty and staff about their crazy college stories, and they seemed to help us feel a little less embarrassed about that one time you dropped your phone in the toilet at a Maple 8 party.

 

The Man in the White Shoes

“When I was a freshman at the University of San Francisco, I was required to be in the Army ROTC. For the final review of the year in May, the entire cadet corps paraded in front of the assembled Army brass of the region (several generals, many colonels, etc.). In putting on my uniform in my room prior to the parade, I couldn’t find my Army-issued black shoes, so I wore my everyday black and white saddle oxfords. When my rank of cadets marched past the reviewing stand, a general jumped up yelling “Stop! Stop!” and the parade lurched to a halt. He came running down onto the parade grounds and ran into our formation yelling about the “man in the white shoes.” He grabbed me and dragged me out of the formation, much to my embarrassment. That was the end of my career as a military man.” -Dr. John Wickersham

 

The Summer With a Plethora of Twenty-First Birthdays

“I was an orientation leader, but at our college, when you were an orientation leader, you stayed on campus. So all 100 of us stayed on campus in the same dorm over the summer. Because it was a bigger college, we had an orientation about every two weeks, and it was two days. Every time any of us had a twenty-first birthday, we would (all hundred of us) stay up all night, even if it was orientation. So the orientation leader is like, ‘What is going on? Why do you all look like hell?’ We all went ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ and by the end of the summer, they figured out ‘Oh, it was so and so’s twenty-first birthday.’ We’d stay out all night.” – Anonymous faculty member

 

Knocked Out…By a Goalpost

Image courtesy of the Columbia Tribune
Image courtesy of the Columbia Tribune.

“One of the craziest experiences I had at Mizzou was the time we played K-State. I went to the pre-game party and tailgated with my friends. Then we went to the game. We actually won for the first time in many years against K-State, it used to be a big rivalry. The tradition was that we would race the field and tear down the goal post, and carry it to Harpo’s, which was a bar in the center of town. I decided that I was going to be one of those people who tore down the goal post. I was jumping over people and surfing people and shoving people out of the way. Got in a few fights on the way because everyone is trying to fight to get there. As I’m about 15 feet away from the goal post, it comes down, and next thing I know it’s right in front of my face. It hits me, knocks me out, complete concussion. I woke up in the hospital, when I woke up I asked if we got the goalpost to Harpo’s.” – Professor Scott Angus

From Skinny-Dipping to the ER

“We went skinny dipping in the river near school. There’s a cliff you can jump off. I didn’t go butt naked, I had my boxers on, but he went butt naked. He was like this big giant guy and when he landed in the water there was a tiny stick, but it went up his butt all the through and pierced his colon. It (the stick) had to be at the perfect vertical position sticking up, and when he landed it went straight up with such force. He had to go through surgery and get his colon reconstructed.” – Anonymous professor

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